I belong, by Toutatis

It did not hit me until I was well into the Uhuru Park walk way how nice I felt. It was dusk and the lights within the park had come on. The fast dimming lights of the fading day still illuminated the lush well cut grass and as I passed the jogger who always does a brisk run in the evening at the park – he lives somewhere near the Serena, i found out.

It was as i was going around the Nyayo monument, that I understood. I felt nice because I felt related to someone.

If I could just go back one step. I had just had coffee (well, chocolate milkshake) with a young man, just a little older than me and during the “coffee”, I realised that I shared so much with him – We both like choc shakes, we both are thoroughly business-minded and it struck me in a big way how much alike we were.

We are just getting to know each other as we met not too long ago under really bad circumstances. We had both lost a primary individual (our father) in our lives, which until then, had gone parallel to each other – with little likelihood of interaction.

And so, there we were seated in a coffee shop chatting and finding each other and finding our father in each other.

That for me was powerful. It simply said to me, I am related to him.

I had always looked for my father – and now, after his death, i am getting to know him – through my brother (that feels strange to say – my brother – and yet it is strangely liberating).

What was interesting was that I spoke to my dad soon after that (my step-father, who’s always been there with me all through) and he asked how I was adjusting to my father’s death and when i was coming home.

I feel like I belong somewhere. That, my friends, is the height of security.

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  1. loise

    I was having coffee with my galfriend and it downwed on us that with every passign day,,,we thrive to belong.Admittedly we have each other,our jobs,good relationships with friends and family but love has eluded our hearts.It takes all the pride in us to admit to each other amidst tears that we want to be loved and belong to someone.We want to walk on the streets holding hands with some ncy cool guy who works magic in our hearts.We want to sit in the ofice and smile by ourselves as we think of our better half and what they do to us.
    We may look like we have it all but we want to belong.We want to submit and be someones.We want to love and be loved in return.We want to be someone’s,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, oh how we want to belong,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  2. Vee

    My dear Loise this is the plight of the modern day woman. We’ve been told that we must achieve great things and then belong… we must have good education, good job, good future…before we hold the hand of that nice cool guy.

    Yet deep down inside there exists that craving to be one with someone and to hell with great achievements, fame and fortune. Whatever happened to being in a good healthy relationship & raising a great family as an achievement?

    I guess if it’s in your heart to want to belong follow it… but remember society is watching!

  3. The write as well as the comments – very insightful – they have gotten me thinking. Imekuna kidogo. Hmmm … … Let me think, I might come back with comments … hopefully.




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