Where do the men go?

It is a big deal when the wwomen are beaten (read:battered) by their spouses. Some men are battered by their spouses and girlfriends. Where do they go? Is there in Kenya an organisation that takes care of battered men? What is the male equivalent of Federation of Women Laywers and Coalition of Violence Against Women (COVAW).

Anyone? A lady that I asked this question said: “they sort themselves out.” Don’t you think this is unfair?

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  1. Vee

    You have to understand that it’s taken women years to get the rights they have now such as voting, divorce & custody of kids, to dress as they like, to work, to hit the glass ceiling and exceed it… etc etc… hence why FIDA, COVAW and all those girl child organizations.

    But what is coming up of late is that men need these very same services. So it’s up to you guys to fight for your own rights…as you will learn from the ladies, sitting and waiting for the government to do anything is a waste of time.

    Atleast this time round for you guys, you have a sympathetic ear from the women. When women tried to sort themselves out, to speak up… the men teased and put them down… women still go to report rape cases and are harrassed even more by the law (read men)…When the Njoki Sexual Harrassment Bill was being debated…someone in my office told me point blank that he can tell me salacious things or even grab me… it’s still my word against his…

    I ask that this blogger to not just complain aimlessly without thinking what it took for the women to get to where they are and how much work it will take to clean up the society from vices such as those.

  2. tinga

    Men Against Women Empowerment (MAWE)

  3. Vee,

    I find that you have not quite responded to my query satisfatorily. My question was, where do men go. I gather from your response that there is nowhere, I can go?

    A response like yours is illustrative of the reason that men find it difficult to respond to the cases. The female baggage problem always arises.

    “You have to understand that it’s taken women years to get the rights they have now such as voting, divorce & custody of kids, to dress as they like, to work, to hit the glass ceiling and exceed it”

    You had to throw the above in before almost answering my query. The alleged sympathetic year is rather lost to me considering that you open with fire…

    If this blogger was in fact a battered man (and he may very well be), he is not encouraged to seek further assistance from your post.

    I wonder why women cannot get over themselves and look at themselves as human by which I would expect for them to use their superior experience in this matters to provide, oh, say, leadership?

  4. Vee

    Granted that my reply was knee jerk, mainly cause I knew where you were coming from; therefore I apologise.

    Yet, if indeed this man is battered I’m sure there are places you could go but I personally don’t know of one right now. I know FIDA doens’t look very rosy as a destination but that would be a place to start.

    The reason women can’t get over themselves is mainly because inasmuch as you are a forward thinking man (or so I hope) there is a larger percentage of men out there who think women are to be seen and not heard. I’m talking from experience and not just guessing. I have several male relatives who talk to me and over me and when I respond there is some sort of shock as to how rude I am. Recently, I overheard a conversation where a man declared that one of th reasons he didn’t want the new constitution is because women were going to be allowed to inherit land same as their male siblings; it didn’t matter that there were many other major contentious issues to be discussed but that is the one that insensed him the most. But I am digressing…

    I agree that we need to get over ourselves but we’ve been raised on the defensive. Our mothers went through the liberation in the 60s and 70s and they tried to instil in us to fight for our rights since we were born. Meanwhile the very same women tell us to do this and this so that we can be good submissive wives to our husbands. Thus, my (read generation’s) confusion. We are fighting a fight we’ve been told to fight; and as we go on we realise most of the fight has been done, all we need to do is take what is ours.

  5. Dafmanx

    Going thru all that has been said above, I think it would be best not just to blog it but to make it more realized. So if anyone can come up with areas where the constitution favours women and does not have anything to cater for the men in the same or other areas of the constitution i would be grateful. eg. a girl is prohibited from getting married in any community till she turns at the very least 18. But is a maasai boy prohibited from becoming a moran before attaining the same age? No (I stand to be corrected). He is allowed and even encouraged to become one. that is st the tip of the iceberg. I plan to put this as a thesis for my paper though it wont stop there. Thanks




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